A little introduction….

I am sure you can count on more than one hand, how many times someone has told you “But you are too young for Breast Cancer”? Some days I feel like shouting back like a hormonal teenage girl “Well, I DID get Breast Cancer”….. but instead I take a deep breathe inme introduction and out and politely respond.

The truth is although uncommon, younger people (yes both female and male) do get breast cancer. People like me, people like you.

After being diagnosed at 38 with Breast Cancer, I turned to my good old loyal friend “G$$gle” in search of someone young like me who really understood how I felt.  In this day and age, I assumed there would be hundreds of support networks out there but after searching pages and pages my so called bestie g$$gle had let me down.  I honestly felt deceived by my bestie but more so, I felt lonely.  Lonely seems like an ironic word – I have a brilliant husband, a 4 year old son and a 12 year old step daughter, a really close set of family and friends – yet I felt alone.  I didn’t like how I felt, I knew there must be hundreds ,thousands of people who were also going through this and felt exactly the same way and I didn’t want another person to have to feel like this.

I wanted to create a support group for people like us to talk about this serious subject but as the same time I wanted us to tackle this in a light-hearted way and instead of g$$gle, let’s “doodle”… J

 

Help I’ve been Hedgehogged!

So after giving myself a good talking to last week, I decided to make sure I took it easy this week and not be mad dashing all over the bloody place.  It did mean that I didn’t go to my Auntie’s birthday bash and I did feel bad about that but I know she would understand.  It wasn’t so much actually going, but it’s a good hour’s drive each way and I knew I just needed to “be kind to myself”.

Well in terms of milestones, it’s been another good week.  I got my ar$e into gear and got back on the treadmill.  Not sure if I mentioned it but 2 weeks ago I nearly put myself in hospital tripping over my laptop charger to run to get the door.  I really hope no one was looking through the windows as it was not a pretty sight.  I could just see the headlines now…..

“Woman survives  big C but is killed by a laptop charger”!!!!!

It hurt so much that I had a little cry to myself, proper needed a “Mummy cuddle” and a “Magic Kiss” to make it better!!!  At the time it was my nail that hurt the most.  The ba$tard chemo has left my nails looking like something from a horror movie and a couple have come loose.  Bending one back to stop me from falling over was probably not the best decision I have made!!!

Anyways after an hour, the nail throbbing subsided but then I realised that my toe was getting worse and worse.  I took off my sock and it was bright red.  It was so bloody sore, there was no way I could do any running on it.  Then it turned a lovely blue colour and was like it a few days.  The old “Superwoman” would have tried to run on it but this new sensible version of Superwoman decided to rest!  I even put my “Deep Blue” magic oil on to take down the inflammation!

So on Tuesday I decided it was time to get back on the treadmill.  I’d set a goal for Febrary to get back to running a full 5k and I was determined to do it!  So I stuck on my tunes and took myself to my “She Shed” that also doubles up as the “Gem’s Gym”

My PB since Lenny was 30 minutes although it was 3 weeks since I had done that!  I remember when I did Couch to 5k that they say once you get over about the 12 minutes its “mind over matter”, well I had a lot of bloody mind to get to 30 mins!

With the help of my mate Chris Martin singing his tunes to me, I only went and ran 36 mins and a full 5k!!!! OMG I felt bloody brilliant.  I was back on my new running journey, kicking the Big C’s Butt – only another 3 x 5ks and I will be at the Great North Run distance!!!! Easy peasey…NOT!!! But it is baby steps as I keep getting told!

I felt so bloody great from the run that I decided to sign up for a 4.5 mile run with my GNR mate in April.  I do need to have some mini goals to get me to the half marathon distance!

On Thursday I decided to get “hedgehogged”, well before you all think I have lost the plot, it is “Our Rosie’s” name for having Acupuncture.  As I have said before, I will try bloody anything to get rid of these fu$king hot flushes and night sweats.  I’d never been Hedgehogged before, I’d been told it wasn’t painful and to be honest the pain was the least of my worries.  The night before I had convinced myself I was gonna get Hepatitis from a dirty needle!!! – Sounds so bloody ridiculous now but in the middle of the night, post nightsweat – anything is possible!!!

hedgehog

Thankfully as soon as I got to the hedgehog lady I realised that the “prickles” were disposable …phew!!! – I am a muppet at times!!!

The whole experience was sooooo interesting…..people were right, it didn’t hurt.  The prickles went mental in my ear when the probe went over “hormones” and “temperature” No shit Sherlock!!!

In a strange way, I found it relaxing and I’m booked in for another session this week!

It must have given me some energy though as yesterday I decided I was gonna go for my first outdoor “proper” run for 7 months.  Running to the next village felt pretty good but running back was a killer with those bloody hills.  I was proper tired when I got home but guess what…… I had run 5k!!!!!!! Which means this “hedgehog” is going back to ParkRun!!!!!!

Now to finish packing for our well earned Spa Break!!! Gym gear not included!

Superwoman

Ok, Confession time, cards on the table…….

  1. I’m shattered
  2. I’m grumpy
  3. I’ve over done it!

Why do I seem to forget I am not Superwoman???

Superwoman

It took me until Friday to realise how much the week had taken out of me…… Yep  5 days into the week, that will be the chemo brain “delayed” reaction!

This week was always gonna be a busy one. It was the week I was seeing my Superhero the “Prof” for my first review since the end of my treatment and also to have a boob check with the man in charge of the sewing aka the Surgeon.

What I didn’t plan for was that our budgeting deadlines would get pushed into this week which meant I was having to deal with the most stressful week of the year at work and fit in all the appointments whilst trying to still deal with a “phased” return to work and deal with a stroppy 5 year old……. hmmmm interesting combo!!!

The good news is the hospital appointments went really well! In fact it was so lovely to see the team led by “Super Prof” who have looked after me like royalty over the last 6 months.

As I’ve said before, it’s a scary world when active treatment finishes and you often feel like you are on your own trying to steer your boat back to the shore (aka normal life).

Seeing Prof and having the reassurance that all my bloods are good, my body is recovering well really does help settle those nerves and tick another milestone box.

As usual I had a page full of questions for him as I have been resisting the temptation of devil called Goo$le!

You would have been proud, I went to all my appointments  wig free!.  The Prof was very impressed with my hair growth,…..

“That will be the Rosemary Oil, Prof” I told him very proudly!

Oh I still love my Oils! and my “no nasties” Tropic skincare. ****Commercial Plug***** but hey, there are only so many times people can keep saying “OMG, Your skin looks amazing” and you not realise it’s the lovely stuff you have been putting on your skin to combat Chemo wrinkles for the last 3 months!

Ok, Commerical over and back to the Prof……..I was honest with him about the fact that my hot flushes and night sweats have got worse but I told him it was “dooable” and I didn’t want to “mess” with the tamoxifen by taking more drugs to deal with the menopausal side effects.

I know the jury is out on the use of Anti-depressants for the severe menopausal side effects and their effectiveness on the Tamoxifen…… but for me, I do not want to give the Tamoxifen any excuse not to work!

I tell you since I had chemo, I’ve become slightly obsessed with what gets put in my body especially drugs and their bloody side effects.

Tamoxifen has also given me a rash under my skin, it’s like invisible goosebumps. It doesn’t bother me and on the scale of side effects it could be so much worse.  I just feel like I’ve forgotten to scrub off my exfoliator!

I know it still is early days and Prof did say the side effects should reduce once my body gets used to being “slam dunked” into Menopause.

Instead I am gonna try acupuncture, I’ll give anything a go these days! If sticking some needles in my face gets rid of these night sweats then it’s bloody worth it!!

I also got a glowing report from the surgeon. I did have a “post surgery photo shoot” and laughed that the last time he took a photo I was covered in “Sharpie” pen.  He did show me a photo of the “pre” surgery boobs……Omg I had forgotten how “droopy” they were, every cloud has a silver lining though and I got a better pair even if the Lenny invaded one does feel like it has been beaten up at the minute, especially after being poked and prodded!

Unfortunately, the fatigue started to hit on Thursday.   I’d also had a late night going to see Strictly. It was a fab girlie evening but OMG my body is not used to late nights! I’m normally having me mug of cocoa at 8pm!

The fatigue then turned into me being a moody cow with a very short fuse and then the tears just came flooding out.

“I can’t do my job anymore” I cried out to hubby. It had just got all too much and exhaustion had kicked in.

There and then I had a full on meltdown!!!! but boy did I need it!!!! Sometimes you just need a good cry and a “vent”!!!

Thankfully after some sleep I felt a lot better, funny how things seem so much better in a morning!??

The good thing is I do recognise I have done too much. It has been a wake up call and I have to remember I am not superwoman!

I am a Cancer Survivor, surely that deserves it’s own Superhero status?!  I can’t remember reading about Superwoman dealing with losing her locks, nightsweats and returning to work!!

In all seriousness, we all know Superwoman does not exist and as for the other women that we think are Superwomen, honestly they are most likely struggling themselves.

This is the real world so instead of trying to be Superwoman and get on 4 loads of washing before 7am on a Sunday.  I am gonna go and give those boys of mine a cuddle.

It’s that stuff that matters, the bloody washing pile can wait!!!!

A messy home is a happy home right??

But let’s get one thing straight……Super Prof…. now he is most definitely real!

“Hot Flush, Mummy?”

Wow, is it really 9 days since I wrote my last blog, well they do say time flies when you are having fun!

Seriously, I can’t believe how fast last week went. It only seems to be 5 minutes ago I was setting off in the snow for my drive down to work.

Where has the time gone?

Last week was a brilliant week, shattering but a bloody good one and you know what… I had NO wobbles!!!! To be fair, I don’t think there was time to have one!!!

It was soooooo good to see everyone at work again, I don’t think I have ever had so many hugs!

Although work was intense, being around people and back to “normality” did me the world of good!  I even managed to fit in a run in the hotel gym, bit rude though as I had to queue for a bloody treadmill!!! Wtf – January “new gym” goers!!!

I was super proud of myself though as I managed to run for a whole 30 minutes and with just my Sinead O’Connor look! I think I have gone past caring at the stares!

The oils came with me into the office as did the fan! Thank fu$k for the fan! Those ba$tard hot flushes kept making an appearance, I’m so glad I’d warned everyone and also worn layers!

Jumper  on, jumper off, jumper on, jumper off was the theme of the day!

A few months back I would never have dreamt of wearing sleeveless tops and dresses in winter but not when “Harry” the hot flush can make a bloody appearance!

Anyways…..Saturday was another milestone for me,  I went along to little man’s swimming lesson.

Yep for the first time in months I also went along to the pool,  it’s somewhere I have avoided during chemo as we all know that those changing rooms are germ zones!

I was so excited about seeing the little man swim that I forgot to put the wig on!  Instead I had my pink woolly beanie on, which was fine outside in the freezing cold but I didn’t quite think through to the temperature in the changing rooms!

I got as far as the obligatory toilet stop before his lesson when I could feel the bloody furnace heating up in my chest.

Shit! Bollo$ks! I thought!

I needed to get the fricking hoody and beanie off …. fast!!!!

“What you doing, Mummy?”

“Mummy’s hot” I replied

“Hot flush, Mummy?”

hotflush

Jeeeeezzzzz for a split second I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry!

Kids really don’t miss a trick do they???

Well there was no bloody way I was putting that hoody or woolly hat back on…. sod the “stares”…. I don’t give a shi£ that morning”, nothing was gonna get in my fun of watching my little nemo swim!

Now, where is a fridge to sit in when you need one????

 

Checklist

It’s Sunday morning and I have just finished writing my “check list” for today.  Later, I am travelling down to work for my first visit to the office in over 6 months!!

I admit I am full of mixed emotions, I am so excited to be seeing work colleagues again, I’ve not seen them since before Lenny and I am sure there is going to be a whole lot of hugging happening!

But at the same time I am apprehensive for a few reasons…..

  1. Forgetting the important things!

Yes, I am more anxious than normal about forgetting stuff, especially the stuff I can’t live without for the next few days!

I am not talking the laptop either although this is fairly high on the list!

I am talking about tamoxifen for a start! I am so paranoid about leaving it behind, it is the first thing on the list! There is no way I am missing one of those little pills and although I know missing a couple probably won’t cause issues, I am not taking risks in that department. In all the risk mitigation actions, this is the bloody important one!

Secondly my oils, OMG I need them in my life. With mixed emotions comes my  set of emotions oil! Oh yes I have one for bloody every emotional in life!

“Cheer” for positively, energy and potentially any wobble moments!

“Balance” to calm me down and reduce the anxiety and stress that 3 days of budgeting may bring!

“Motivate” for getting shit done

“Spearmint” for confidence and not taking any shit!

I am also taking about enough supplements to keep Holland and Barrett in business for about 3 years plus some magic “On Guard” to keep germs away!

I’ve been so lucky to not really get anything during chemo but the reality is my immune system is still low and I ain’t got time for being ill! I know how many germs are around that bloody office too, I don’t care if people think I have “OCD issues”, my boss will have issues if I end up off sick again!!

So that’s just a few things on the “list”!!

2. Being Alone

It’s also been a long time since I have been on my own and I mean without family and friends for months and months. Before Lenny I was frequently away with work and being on my own never bothered me. But I am conscious that for me being alone, especially at nigh,t can be when a wobble starts.

I am so glad that I have been seeing my psychologist though as already I feel like I have some “tools” in my little wobble suitcase for coping with the feelings.

Even seeing her for 3 weeks as really helped me to be more aware of my thoughts and how to deal with them. At some point I will fill you in more…..

3. Leaving the boys

I’m also nervous about leaving the boys. Again, never something that has bothered me. My “Rock” is an amazing dad and when I’m away I just leave him to it. I don’t like calling them lots as I don’t want him to think I am checking up on him and I think it is important for them to have “boy” time.

The nerves are more about worrying about the Rock, worrying about me.

This isn’t easy for partners, they try and hold back their feelings, being “strong” for us but they are human as well

My psychologist called it “adjustment disorder” . That’s the official term. The good thing is that me and the Rock are talking open and honestly about how this is affecting him too. It might have taken him a while to open up but he’s getting there.

The thing I am learning through all this is to have an “open mind”, I will try anything to get my family as “healthy” and as “happy” as we can be.

I’ve even given the Rock a lesson in applying little man’s daily oil. Oh yes little man is also oiled with”On Guard”, I don’t want any bloody germs coming back home in this house!!

4. Hot Flushes

Yep, they are happening several times a day and nightsweats are still a frequent occurrenceworkchecklist throughout the night.  I can deal with them at home but the thought of them happening in the middle of presenting a budget to the big cheeses does fill me with some anxiety!!!  Who’d have thought that in the middle of winter I’d be taking a fr$cking fan with me!!!

Oh well, best get back to the packing, oh and did I mention I have a new red work bag? – needs must!!!

Back to work

This week marked a big milestone, Monday was“officially” the day I returned back to work……..Eeeek

I say “officially” as I have done bits of work all the way through this but that was entirely my own doing and actually it’s helped….. ALOT!

It’s helped to keep my brain active and I know on the confidence o meter it’s made a huge difference!

People have made comments about me returning so soon after active treatment has finished and whether I should be taking more time off but honestly I feel ready.

I do work from home which means I don’t have to worry about sorting out my work clothes or making sure I don’t have any wig malfunction!, at least for a couple of weeks anyway when I’m due to visit the office.

In true “Gem” style I did get ultra organised before Monday. Last week I got rid of all the crap in my she shed / office.  For the last 6 months it’s been a dumping ground for anything and there was no way I was working in a shit tip!

The clutter has well and truly gone, as they say, clear room, clear mind!

I’ve also put my oil diffuser in there! Oil lady will be proud! Another advantage of being a home worker means I can have whatever I want on without someone commenting “wtf is that smell”!!!

oil

Everything was good to go and I must admit I was so excited!

Ask me again in a couple of weeks and I will probably be swearing my head off with “I’ve had enough of fu£$ing budgets!

My first meeting was with my new business partner at 9:30am.  I needed to make a good impression, that I knew my shit, and I really hoped chemo brain behaved otherwise I was going to look like a muppet!

I did put some risk mitigation in there by preparing for my “crucial conversation” beforehand and smothering myself in my “Motivate” oil also known as “getting shit done” oil as well as Spearmint also known by Gemma as “not taking any shit” oil!!

Well I can honestly say the bloody oils worked their magic as the meeting was a success and I got so much stuff done this week I was proper proud of myself!

What I didn’t tell you at the start was this week is normally the most stressful week of the quarter yet alone your first week back but with the help of my right hand lady, we did it!!!

Woohoo!

Not only that but I’ve also managed to increase my running from 2 minutes to 20 minutes!!! It’s a bloody massive achievement given what a killer that initial 2 mins was. Those muscles are still in those legs and I am seriously gonna be kicking butt at the 5k soon!!!

Right, it’s time to decide what to wear for our PTA Christmas party! Thinking some statement killer heels!!!

 

Happy New Year!

Well hello 2018, ok, ok,  I am a day late but yesterday was a well earned pj day in this house!

Hope you all had a good one, we actually had a quiet one at home with the little man and a very special visit from Rosie.

It was perfect though as I am still bloody shattered from chemo and the full on birthday and Christmas celebrations.

happynewyear

We had some posh nosh followed by a gorgeous Eton mess cheesecake homemade by Rosie-Mary Berry as I call her!

We still had loads left, in fact it is the main reason why my healthy eating plan starts today.   There is no bloody way I was throwing that left over cheesecake in the bin, I don’t care what the scales say at fat club later!

The last few days I have been working on my 2018 goals.  Yep it’s that time of year where I like to start my yearly planning!

But before I get on to 2018, I wanted to say a few things about 2017.

It certainly wasn’t the year I had planned and yep, at times, Lenny did cause a lot of shit in our lives but you know what… so much came out of 2017 and looking back I achieved so much.

Let’s start with the achievements:

  1. Ran 5k in sub 30 mins – huge achievement for someone who is not a natural runner!
  2. Ran my first ever 10k and completed Race for Life!
  3. Got into all my old clothes that had been too small for years including my favourite dresses
  4. Raised over £3000 for “brave the shave”
  5. Became a Cancer Survivor!

Yes the old boobs went, well they were “somewhat drooped” and I got a revamped pair! Sure, the scars are still there, but let’s call them “war wounds” and, with my special skin balm, the main scars are starting to fade.

Don’t get me wrong the Lenny invaded boob is still so very sore, like I have been punched several times in it but the chemo doesn’t help that and the healing process takes time.  I am still thankful I have them though!

Our holiday plans had to change but we still had loads of family fun and we have already starting to plan camping fun for 2018!

Unfortunately I am not going to be able to help out so much with the “putting the tent up” duties.  That ba$tard Lenny has left me with what they think is mild lymphedema which means I can’t do heavy lifting or reach up high for things.  It’s probably one of the side effects that I have struggled to cope with the most as it has changed a lot in my day to day life, more than most people know, but on the plus side I can still cuddle my little man and the condition is “manageable” if I behave myself and don’t over do it!

Of course the big C has changed my life, I do worry about it returning but I know I have done everything I can to give me he best possible chance of it not coming back.

I now have to learn to manage that worry and since diagnosis I have always been open with my worries.  I was chatting to my Rock and Rosie about this on New Year’s Eve and we all agreed that I will just have to learn what “triggers” my worries and how I will deal with them when they do happen.

One thing I am going to do to help manage this is to keep an anxiety diary as recommended by the book I am reading.

But you know, the big C has changed and will continue to change me for the better.

I’m stronger mentally than I have ever been and I really don’t take any shit from anyone so watch out! Lol…

I’ve said it before but my priorities have changed. When people used to say your health comes first I never really appreciated it’s true meaning.

Nothing is going to get in my way of putting my health first in life   I come first and as my little man told me

“Mummy, you have to love yourself before you love others”

Wise words from a 4 (now 5) year old!

The little things just don’t bother me anymore and I apologise if I don’t emphathise with the rest of you at times but the truth is when you are faced with something that lies between you and your life, the little stuff just doesn’t matter.

Life is so precious and so god damn short and I intend on making everyday count.

If you are not happy about something in your life then do something about it! Nuff said!

So what’s in store for 2018?

Well firstly with health in mind I am gonna get myself “fit” again. Not being able to run for months has bothered me but 3 days ago I went out for my first run with my step daughter around our village.

It nearly killed me, my legs felt like lead weights after 2 minutes but I did it! We walked/ jogged almost 5k. I am so unfit at the moment but it won’t be for long. My first goal is to increase the running and reduce the walking so I can get to a full 5k then 10k and then wait for this… I have signed up for the Great North Run. Yep I’m running it for Breast Cancer Care!!.

I have 9 months to get trained up and I will bloody do it!!!

I am also gonna go back to weight watchers, it works and it is a lifestyle change. I have missed my “fat club” friends so much and still strongly believe if I hadn’t lost the weight I would not have found the lump.

2018 will be the year I get to goal and I have already said to my mum that her and me are going to be on all the covers of the magazines!

Being as fit as I was really did help me to recover and deal with this shit.  I may have gone up a dress size but I have to remember I am still 2 dress sizes smaller than what I was.

Carrying the extra weight has been messing with my head, things have got tighter over chrristmas especially from not running but I will be back on it in no time!

I am also really looking forward to getting back to work properly, I love my job and the people I work with, I know though I need to take it slow!

The next 2018 goals are to spend quality time with the people who really matter to me. This journey does really allow you to learn who the people in life that you can truly rely on and I’ve also made some amazing new friends through this as well as friends I didn’t know so well who I’ve really developed strong bonds with.

So here’s to a very healthy and happy 2018 and remember:

  1. Make your health a priority
  2. Live more, worry less
  3. Look forwards not backwards

And finally

  1. Don’t take any shit!!! – or send them my way!!!

Oh I wish it could be Christmas everyday!

Wow, is it really 11 days since I wrote my last blog post?…..Well they do say time flies when you are having fun!

It’s certainly been a busy couple of weeks in the Davie house! There have been 3 birthdays for a start and we still have one to come!

Mine was first followed by the little man’s and then  my step daughter’s.  The Rock’s is in a couple of days!  It gets so busy here that we have to have a rota system on displaying the birthday cards!

Never mind slotting in Christmas plays, church services and finalising all the prep that goes into Christmas … plus Christmas itself!

At times it’s been exhausting and yes I mean by 7pm I’ve literally been falling asleep sat up in the chair, but it’s been worth every minute!

Nothing was gonna stop our family having amazing birthdays and Christmas this year and I mean NOTHING.

I was talking on fb with an other Breast cancer survivor a couple of week’s go…… a “younger” lady like me…. yep I can still say that, despite a birthday I am just about clinging onto those 30s!!!

…..We were saying how we were both so glad that we had finished treatment and gone full on into Christmas mode.

On a serious note, it has meant that I have been able to focus on Christmas and try to put any worries behind me for now. I am also fully aware that the worries are still gonna be there but this strong cookie will deal with them later, sorry worries but you can “f$&k right off” for the next couple of weeks because this house is buzzing with Christmas spirit right now.

Even the constant hot flushes and night sweats have not got me down. My hubby may think his wife has been swapped with “Sweaty Betty” but at the minute I am not letting them get on top of me and dampen my mood!

I am still playing Christmas tunes 24×7, the new neighbours must love me -NOT!

xmas

Everyday has been so special, I was well and truly spoilt on my birthday despite eating my own body weight in cake at Betty’s tearooms.

I even managed to attend my son’s Christingle church service on the last day of term. I can’t begin to tell you how much it meant as I have had to miss out on so many things due to he chemo. I couldn’t help but cuddle and kiss the little man as he sat holding his orange with his lit candle, singing his heart out to carols.

He even knew all the words the the Lord’s Prayer – I was so bloody proud!!!

Although I wasn’t proud of his 45 minute meltdown, yep you heard me 45 bloody minutes and in front of his best friend and Mum who came back to ours!!!

Thankfully she knows me well and from talking to other parents it appears it is that time of year when kids are exhausted from their first term at school and all the events and build up to Christmas.

As my friend said to me the other day, they are only 5 years old! At times I forget that and I do tend to be self critical on my parenting and worry I am not in control.

But then I have to remember, I have just finished chemo too and although to the world with my wig on and a bit of slap on I look “normal”, my body has taking a fricking battering over the last 6 months and in particularly the last 12 weeks from this bloody poison going around my body.

But that bit is over, no more poison and hopefully the side effects I am still dealing with will start to fade.

I’ve actually now started taking my vitamins and food supplements as I was advised not to take anything during chemo so they can monitor the true effect of the chemo so I am hoping they “kick” in soon and that my energy levels start to come back.

It can’t be much fun for hubby having a wife who’s in bed for 8pm and there’s only so many times I can get away with playing the old chemo Card 😉

However despite the chemo, I have actually been able to do all the things I normally do over Christmas. I will probably collapse in a heap today but I don’t care, I really don’t.

I managed to make my little man a birthday cake.  It almost killed me trying to get the bastard icing on the cake, my arm strength is not the greatest with this stupid mild lymphedema and dealing with my sons meltdown didn’t do it any good…… but the cake was a success and it met the little man’s strict criteria!

I felt like I had won the bake off when he gave me his approval although he did correct my grammar. “Mummy, it should say “is 5 today” not just “5 today” ffs!!!!

I decided to refrain from screaming back at him with “do you know how long this bloody cake took me to make?” and instead I to took in the proud moment that at 5 year old he was correcting my grammar!!!

Little monkey is definitely his father’s son with his perfection!!

On Christmas Eve I even managed to go ice skating for my step daughter’s birthday, yep we have Davie birthdays 23, 24 and then it’s xmas day! – if I had a £1 for the amount of times I have been told “bad planning”, I’d be well on my way to a millionaire…. well ok slight exaggeration but you get the gist!!!

I told you it’s full on in this house!

We all loved the ice-skating, well hubby watched from the side lines as it’s not his thing whilst the 3 of us had so much fun!

But the highlight of the week was Christmas Eve and then Christmas Day.

The little man was so excited about Santa coming …….

“Mummy can you get everyone to come to bed now so Santa can come” he shouted down at 8pm!

Actually I managed to stay up that night until 11:30! Think it was a combination of pure excitement and perhaps the potent Christmas Martini that hubby made for me!!

Christmas Day was then the icing on top of the cake.

It’s the day I have been focusing on for weeks, ever since I found out I would be done for Christmas. I love Christmas so much but I can’t tell you how special it felt watching the kids open their stockings with such excitement to sitting around our table with my family.

I even did a little impromptu speech, oil lady will be proud as I had a sniff of my spearmint oil before hand which is supposed to be good for public speaking and confidence…. I did come back in the room smelling of Wrigleys chewing gum factory which actually wasn’t to everyone’s tastes.

It must have worked as my Nanny Noble then said a few emotional words….. for her to stand up was a huge massive thing as it’s been a bloody hard year for this lady. Super proud daughter moment!!!

It was a perfect end to a perfect day and to top it off my hair is starting to grow back!

Merry Christmas everyone! It’s been a bloody good one at the Davie’s!!!