Life without Lenny – Day 1

Well I have got more drugs to take than Boots have in stock but I am not complaining as my pain is minimal.

Another victory – I am no longer a smurf too!  I managed to get a shower and not kill myself on my drains, can just see the headlines…  “Women survives cancer but killed by spaghettidolly junction drains!”

I had to call hubby to ask if he could bring me a new phone charger,  I was being a smart ar$e and tied it to my posh remote controlled bed so I would’t lose it but then forgot it was still tied there when I moved my bed up – snap!  This whole Lenny journey is bloody expensive. Overnight bag, new pjs and now a new phone charger! Can you sue a lump for damages???

Hubby returns with a super long charger and the coolest wine bottle I ever saw, have attached it to the blog!

He also is holding an envelope…..it’s a parking ticket….and it belongs to me! Apparently I parked in a well known supermarket car park for 5 minutes too long.  “Let’s call it 1-1”, Rob says….. he got one a few months back.  Normally something like this would make my blood boil but since I got diagnosed, things just don’t stress me out… well that and the cocktail of drugs I am on!

That reminds me, the amount of money I have spent on “doodle” pens, must add that to the list when I sue Lenny!

I will have to save the vino for once I am off all these drugs!


My friend brought me a bottle of wine when I was hooked up to morphine in intensive care (it’s the thought that counts… ) and I chundered for England after one swig. They thought it was an allergic reaction to morphine. I was like…. Noooooooooooooo… it was a dodgy burger!! They were doing all my stats and I had a bottle of wine shoved under the sheets. 

To be fair … didn’t need it with morphine. Cxx


Today is another big day, the compression bandages that have been acting as my bra are removed.   As advised I have bought some post surgery bras. They are actually extremely pretty.   Unfortunately my bcn takes one look at them and says “nope sorry gemma, they are not gonna do the job” Ffs … to day is an expensive day!  Thankfully they have back up supplies in these situations, I may resemble an 80 year old in them but if they are “fit for purpose” I am good with that!

I do take a look at the “damage” They do look like mutant boobs but today is not a day of self pity for the legacy of my “somewhat dropped” boobs. I know that today I am seeing them at their worst and I have seen so many post surgery boob photos that I know in 3 months time my boobs will have gone back in time 10 years! Woohoo! I will find a silver lining of this journey, I will! ….and I remember that I maybe battered and bruised and look like a patchwork quilt from a horror movie but I no longer have a squatter and morphine is my best friend!

The breast cancer nurse takes out my right side drain, she gets me to hold my breath…. in and out…… which I get completely wrong, scare her half to death with my “panting” then I start with the giggles!  Not sure if that was distraction theory gone wrong but it worked!  She then gives me a Cath Kidston menu of Dolly drain bags that will help me carry my drain for the next few days.  – free immo Cath k. bag with breast cancer surgery! Bargain !!!!

Sometimes I forget I have a serious life threatening illness! But humour has got me through every day since I found Lenny and cancer ain’t taking that away from me!

Just before tea, we are discharged from the hospital, it’s good to be going home and this time without Lenny 🙂

wine

 

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