Lenny’s last supper

last supper

We are all staying at my parent’s tonight and due to my “munchies”
post hangover, I have requested takeout from our favourite Italian restaurant. I am seriously stocking up on carbs before the fasting begins tonight!

So far nerves are ok and in my usual “being prepared” style my gorgeous new Cath Kidston bag is all packed and ready to go 🙂

I am trying not to think about the apprehension I have of bring put under. I know I will be down for a good 3-4 hours.   It’s not me I am worried about but Rob. The last time I was put under was a crash c-section.

Anyway I don’t even want to think about that right now.

I read my little man a story and give him the biggest cuddles and kisses. I won’t see him for a few days. He knows I am going to have Lennythe bad lump taken away. We have been reading the “mummy’s lump” book  I was given by my Breast  Cancer Nurse, just read a couple of pages so far. At that age I have been told that they just want to know what is happening next. He has requested that I am in hospital for 5 days! I bloody hope not!

He loves his sleep overs at Nanny and papas. It helps me a lot as if means I do t have to worry about him at all.

This time tomorrow you will have HAD cancer … past.. gone … fuc&ed off and you’ve done it!! Just a case of making sure it doesn’t come back after that.

I hope all goes well…know that soooo many people are thinking of you as am I. Don’t forget anytime night or day you want to talk.. I’m here. 

There will be a huge relief when it’s over… and you’ll be glad you didn’t use a knife and fork after all. 

Lots of love Cxxx

I will do, let me know what drugs I should ask for the pain too 😉 Gxx

Morphine … It’s fu$£ing ace!! When you come out of op.. they will ask you how much pain you are in on a scale of 1 to to 10. Say 8!! Gets you the gold stuff. It’s like 10 tequila slammers without the hangover. CXx

The Hangover

Lenny’s Leaving Party


It’s 7:30am and I am waiting at the hospital for my final pre-op blood test before Eviction-day! Today, we should be been travelling to Amsterdam, our first child free trip abroad.  Instead, Lenny the gatecrasher is having his leaving party in York.

York isn’t quite Amsterdam but I am not going to let Lenny get in the way of fun. York is my favourite city and I will be spending it with Hubby and my very special friend Rosie, who will join us for the leaving party tonight.

Rosie and I have known each other for 20 years, she claims to be 27 which would make her 7 when we first met at Uni! She is a “Yorkshire lass” like me, although she is the poshest speaking yorkshire bird I have ever met!  We have had many “adventures” over the years, my all time favourite is her calling a local curry place after closing asking “do you have any fish fingers?” They actually offered to cook them for her if she brought them over. “Bring your own food for us to cook” was clearly not a great business move as they closed down a few years later.

Now and again I wonder what my close friends are going through during my journey and how they are coping. I try to imagine how I would feel in their shoes, what would I say to them? It might sound strange but I often find I worry more about my family and friends than I do about myself during this roller-coaster.

Then a little voice in my head reminds me of what another breast cancer survivor friend told me “It is time to put yourself first for a change, focus on you”!!!

Rob and I spend the rest of the day chilling in the Hotel Spa.  We love Spas, it’s our treat to each other every 6 months or so.  Usually we both have a couple of treatments but as I have recently found out….. when you mention the big “C”, they won’t touch you with a barge pole 😦

So far during this journey, I have not got “angry” but being labelled with a “You have cancer” tag feels like I have been stripped of my own self identity.  Why do we have to “label” everyone? Before I had cancer I was “Gem”, why should a 2.5cm boob “invader” change who I am?

This invader clearly picked the wrong person to mess with!!


After checking out the extensive gin and cocktail menu earlier in the day, we decide to have a couple of pre-dinner drinks in the hotel bar.


At dinner, It doesn’t take much encouragement from Hubby, for me to agree to order bubbles.  The young lady returns with the bottle of bubbly and innocently asks “celebrating anything special”??

I look at Rosie, I am dying to giggle…… “Shall we tell her?” I gesture…….

“Oh go on” Rosie replies

“Well actually, I am having Lenny the breast cancer lump removed on monday” I say in my most serious voice.

“Oh….. sorry” the poor girl replies…. she clearly doesn’t know where to look………..  But tonight, I am not going to worry about others…… “Cheers, Lenny – as my dad says, on yer bike!!!”

Oh dear, this is going to get messy!!!




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