“Oh I do like to be beside the Seaside”

Today we are off to Scarborough, a childhood favourite place of mine.  We decide to make it more fun but going on the train. I live with two train obsessed boys so it makes perfect sense.

We meet my friend Rosie at York station and have a quick porridge stop.

Whilst walking down to the beach my son spots a fudge shop.  Thankfully Rosie manages to convince him the cake shaped fudge is in fact “playdoh” cake so we avoid having to go in – Aunty Rosie to the rescue!

We picked a great day, it’s not raining and not busy at all. We all have fun on the beach before having fish and chips. The northern ones of us have mushy peas – yum yum.

I used to spend many summers in Scarborough. I’d spend a week here at Scarborough summer school for badminton. We literally played “badders” all day and our treat was to head to the arcades at night.

“We have to go to the slots” I say

The kids love the slots, they had a few at center parcs and got addicted there. Thankfully here there are 2p slots  – yes you can’t take the Yorkshire out of me and I am a tight ar$e!

“We” manage to win quite a few things even if we did put in 10 x more than our winnings!

Rosie and my step daughter even manage to con the staff into given them a prize they didn’t actually win – no surprise there!

On the way back to the station I can’t resist a couple of tacky purchases. The first is  a boob mug with various shapes of boobs  – it had to be done, it was obviously fate!

Mine looked like cucumbers before Lenny was evicted but according to my son they are more like oranges now! …..At least he did not say bee stings. Maybe it’s all the ice cream I bribed him with today – thanks for the compliment my son!

We also buy 2 poop pens. Rosie hasn’t worked out one is for her!

poop

We do get a few funny stares when Rosie and the little man start playing with their flying poop pens or maybe it was his bottom burps. I just wanted to crawl into a hole at one point!

I am exhausted but I had such a fun day, creating memories with my very special family xxx

 

Unconditional Love

After our 4 days at Center Parcs we are off to my oldies for a few days.  We have lots planned…. a trip to the wildlife park, science museums and a train trip to Scarborough.

We had already made plans for our bathroom to be redone whilst we were in Disney and we decided to still go ahead.  I am so determined that Lenny is not going to get in the way of our plans, he’s managed to spoil enough of them already.

The Project Manager is doing an amazing job, that’s my dad by the way. Over the years he has helped renovate our cottage and we will be eternally grateful for the hours he has spent “making things happen” and when things go wrong, coming to our rescue.

He’s been my superhero ever since I was little, saving me from lions after I had bad nightmares, daddy cuddles after many a broken heart, I’d be lost without him.

But having my own little man now makes me understand why dad does the things he does, unconditional love.daddy

A bit of sewing

Wow – Center Parcs is soooooo quite at 7:45am!…. Apart from the sounds of nature 🙂  It’s actually quite surreal and very relaxing!  I have checked out the route and I should be there in 15 mins.

I do get a funny look from the receptionist when I explain I am here to see the nurse yet have no appointment.

Luckily one of the other nurses recognises me. Bad eh? They should do a loyalty card scheme here, I am sure I’d be entitled to a Platinum card by now!  She is so lovely and helpful and says she will page the breast cancer nurse.

Woohoo, 10 minutes later the Breast Cancer Nurse arrives.

“I recognise your name” she says…:. .I have not seen her before….

I explain the funny wound and then she clicks who I am.

“I was your scrub nurse, I have only seen you asleep!” she laughs

She takes a look at the wound and reassures me there is nothing to worry about but she does want me to see the surgeon.

So I go grab food and return a couple of hours later.

I am called in .

“I know I wasn’t due to see you for 6 months but here I am” I say with a cheeky smile!

He takes a look and says that it’s nothing to worry but the wound has broken down and I need a few little stitches.

sewing

So there and then I have a little boob surgery.  This time I am awake and intrigued!

All done.

“I don’t need antibiotics do I?” I say

“Not at this stage, you need to come back in a couple of days for the nurse to have a look how it is healing”

“Good, because I desperately need a GIN and I haven’t drunk my bubbles yet!!!!”

We share favourite Gins then I had back to Center Parcs…. just in time for my hubby to make his back massage.

That evening I have a gin and a few bubbles, I think I earned them after today!

C: Well after many hours of recon… I’ve had many many leaks. But despite the fags, Wine, and takeaways, they have all healed really well. 

Bubbles?? Hope that’s not a bloody bath.. you let down… 😘 xxx

G: Cheap rose bubbles! Unfortunately not the real stuff. Brought it with us to save money!! . Should have brought the basta$d codeine with me. Numbness is wearing off! I did ask “you are not giving me antibiotics are you cos I really need a drink tonight ? 😉 “! Xx

C: Ha ha …. I remember when I had first op and they gave me antibiotics etc.. my sister asked if I was allowed to drink on them.

I said “I didn’t ask”

She said “Erm… don’t you think you should?”

I said “probably… but I was scared they would say no”.

It’s been a mantra ever since …xx

 

Good Boob, gone bad!

It’s Tuesday evening whilst changing my dressing that I notice some unusual discharge seeping out of my good boob (which I had an uplift during the removal of Lenny).  I ask Nurse hubby for an opinion.  He thinks my wound is starting to open, maybe the scab has come off too early?

I don’t want to take any chances and contact the ward, they did say to call if any problems. They are just doing handover and will call back.  In he meantime I take my temp – normal. That is a good sign. I don’t feel unwell either.

I decide to take a wound selfie and send to my health advisor, aka my mum. She is a retired nurse and normally knows more than the docs themselves.

She isn’t happy with the pic, you need to get it checked out.

The ward call back, we go through my symptoms and they say to speak to my breast cancer nurse first thing.  I am fine with that, I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing.

bad

“I am not going to call them” I say to hubby, “I am going to camp there first thing until I am seen”…… I have a plan!

 

 

We’re all going on our Summer Holiday!

Omg I loooove center parcs, it’s like entering a different world……A forest world!

Within an hour of getting here, we head up to the pool. I decide just to have a paddle, I do have water resistant dressings but it just isn’t worth it.

Seeing my little man smiling and giggling with his daddy and big sister is all I wanted to see.

It’s ironic, this is the most confident I have ever looked in a swimming costume too after losing almost 3 stone yet I am having to cover up. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter. Means I don’t have to try and wash and straighten my hair!

That night we go out for dinner and I enjoy a couple of cocktails, this may not be Disney but it’s a perfect family holiday .

cp

Dear Mickey Mouse…

This summer is definitely not the summer we had planned. Today we should have been flying out to Disneyworld, Florida for a once in a lifetime holiday.

10 of us were going and no one was more exciting about seeing Eeyore and Mickey than me. I had even organised the dinner locations in the hope to have my photo taking with the sad donkey! He is my all time favourite.  When I was in my early 20s I had a slight obsession, everything Eeyore. Nowadays I only have a few bits but like Eeyore some days I think I have “lost my tail” and lost a bit of myself.

mouse

I feel guilty that we have had to cancel our hols but the risk of me flying long-haul with increased risk of DVT and lympodema, which is a condition you really don’t want to google were the deciding factors.

Everyone understood and in a way I think hubby was relieved. I’d rather go at full fitness and where I can go on all the rides.

The truth is I am still sore, I do forget sometimes, people forget too, they go to hug me and I can’t help but yelp “ouch”.   However we have decided that we will still do something, we need a break, “time out” from this situation before the weeks and months of active treatment start.

So we have booked Center Parcs. I have never been but I have heard great stories. We decide to go to the local one so that I am only a short car ride away in case I need to go to the hospital.  I am sure everything will be fine, I am healing so well but it’s peace of mind, my comfort blanket 🙂

 

 

Give way!

As you know I like to plan, planning gives me a sense of control and with the big C, a lot of that gets taken away from you.

So today I spontaneously decide to go to see a wig specialist. Inevitably my hair will fall out, I know there are tools to help prevent hair loss such as cold capping but after researching I have decided that is a no go. I don’t do cold and the idea of giving myself “head freeze” for hours freaks me out and sends shivers down my spine! There is also a lot of TLC involved around looking after your hair and it can still fall out.

It’s the first time I have been out on my own properly since the op. Usually, I am a very independent person, often travelling alone but today I feel apprehensive, to the outside world I look healthy and normal but inside my body has so much healing to do 😦

My father in law drops me at the train station as I don’t feel confident enough to drive the 2 hour round trip. I also hate driving to the city ever since Rowan was 4 months old.  I was about to enter the car park in our 4×4 when all of a sudden I decided the car was too tall for the carpark so began to reverse……….straight into the back of another car!!!!  Thankfully the woman was very pleasant with me especially as she knew I had a little one.

Anyways nuff said about that.

I have plenty of time so decide to meet hubby for lunch before a spot of shopping. Rude not too!  I am in search of a pink top. Not just any pink, hot pink. Justification – breast cancer awareness of course 🙂  I have never felt so strongly in my life about getting girls to check their boobs, still can’t get over how many don’t!

Mission accomplished – hot pink top purchased….I am ready for action!!!

Well I thought I was……..

I was coming out the door of a shop when an old man came marching towards me and pushed me out of the way!!!, yes that’s right, he pushed me out of his way and the basta3d pushed me right in my back, right where I had my reconstruction.

I was so shocked, I froze.

I had to go back in the shop to pull myself together. I could feel my eyes filling with tears, then as reality struck, the tears turned to anger.  I looked out the shop, he was way ahead of me and there was no way I was in a condition to run.  I had strictly been told no running for 12 weeks!

How dare he push me??!!! He obviously thought he had right of way over me and decided as I was young he could just man handle me!  If I’d have been able to run I would have run after him.  I may look healthy but I have just had breast cancer surgery, how dare you  push me you arrogant ar£e!

My blood was boiling! – maybe I should carry a “Give Way” sign!

give


Thankfully I manage to calm down before the appointment.  The wig specialist is so lovely and his little dog is adorable.  Straight away he picks a wig and says “this is so like your hair”.  As he puts my own hair into athewig net, the reality of my impending bald head kicks in. OMG, I just aged 30 years………

But then he places the wig on carefully and something magic happened….. I turned back into me….amazing

“So I can look like me” I say out loud.

I don’t take any photos…. I decide I am not ready for that. I need time and the good thing is I have time

But today:

Gemsy 1 – Lenny 0

I win today Lenny, you may be taking my hair but whatever you can do, I can do better!!!!!

And if the old man is reading my blog…. “cross my path again and you will feel the power of my left hook” – Sorry Physio but needs must!

 

I can still be me!