I can’t tell you how much it meant to hear those words from the Prof, I really had not had a wobble like that since I was first diagnosed. In fact in some ways this wobble was bigger!
It’s a couple of days since we returned from our mini break – you will be glad to hear it was bloody brilliant – just what the Prof ordered!
We were well and truly spoilt and I actually felt rso confident in my dress and killer heels for the evening meal.
There is a little story behind the dress. I bought it about a year ago when I was part the way through my weight loss journey. At the time it didn’t fit me, it was a gamble especially as it wasn’t cheap but the truth is I was determined to get in it. I even bought the heels to match, well shoes are everything to an outfit!
So to be able to wear it months later, especially after this shitty boob journey is a massive “non scale” victory as we say in the weight loss world! I was so worried the weight would creep back on after not being able to exercise for 3 months but I have really tried hard to keep on track the majority of the time.
We often talk in our meetings about life getting in the way , it’s through these times when you really have to “dig” hard and remember why you are doing it. I remember thinking a few times “what is the point in losing weight?, I have got bloody cancer now, it didn’t stop me getting it?” but then I have to remind myself that I am the healthiest I have been in my life going into this and it will help me even more so coming out of this. I know if I was 3 stone heavier right now, being the size 16 I was, I would be feeling pretty crap about myself and I guarantee you that my knees would be aching and I would be a miserable cow!
I did “indulge” whilst we were away especially on the homemade bread but it was sooooo worth it! I have noticed though that my attitude to the booze has changed. I decided to have some mocktails in the day whilst hubby was trying out the local gin, yes you did read that correct, I refused the gin although I did have a sneaky sip!
I decided I only wanted a couple of “proper” drinks so I used them to have with my meal. We even got the somellier to give me half portion on the paring wine and I didn’t even need to play the “C” card – get in!!!
It was a bloody great 24 hours away !
The Prof was definitely right about my throat, it has got worse and I feel pretty ropey at the moment. You know I have never wanted to be ill before but this time it makes me feel so settled that the lymph node is just “reacting” and it actually hurts like a swollen gland!
By 7pm in the evenings though, I am absolutely shattered and I even fell asleep watching Holby City which is unheard of. I called my Oil lady yesterday for recommendations on getting myself fit for Chemo 3 on Monday. There is no way I am failing that blood test!
Oh and I picked up my human hair wig yesterday from my hairdresser. It’s all chopped, coloured and looks so similar to how my hair was before that basta$d Lenny turned up!
She is one talented lady, I still can’t believe she made it! I may have also been talked into her making me a pixie cut! I will have one for each day of the week at this rate 😉
Oh well, I’ll blame Lenny! Not sure how long I can keep using him as an excuse though? Anyone know when the C card expires??