Happy New Year!

Well hello 2018, ok, ok,  I am a day late but yesterday was a well earned pj day in this house!

Hope you all had a good one, we actually had a quiet one at home with the little man and a very special visit from Rosie.

It was perfect though as I am still bloody shattered from chemo and the full on birthday and Christmas celebrations.


We had some posh nosh followed by a gorgeous Eton mess cheesecake homemade by Rosie-Mary Berry as I call her!

We still had loads left, in fact it is the main reason why my healthy eating plan starts today.   There is no bloody way I was throwing that left over cheesecake in the bin, I don’t care what the scales say at fat club later!

The last few days I have been working on my 2018 goals.  Yep it’s that time of year where I like to start my yearly planning!

But before I get on to 2018, I wanted to say a few things about 2017.

It certainly wasn’t the year I had planned and yep, at times, Lenny did cause a lot of shit in our lives but you know what… so much came out of 2017 and looking back I achieved so much.

Let’s start with the achievements:

  1. Ran 5k in sub 30 mins – huge achievement for someone who is not a natural runner!
  2. Ran my first ever 10k and completed Race for Life!
  3. Got into all my old clothes that had been too small for years including my favourite dresses
  4. Raised over £3000 for “brave the shave”
  5. Became a Cancer Survivor!

Yes the old boobs went, well they were “somewhat drooped” and I got a revamped pair! Sure, the scars are still there, but let’s call them “war wounds” and, with my special skin balm, the main scars are starting to fade.

Don’t get me wrong the Lenny invaded boob is still so very sore, like I have been punched several times in it but the chemo doesn’t help that and the healing process takes time.  I am still thankful I have them though!

Our holiday plans had to change but we still had loads of family fun and we have already starting to plan camping fun for 2018!

Unfortunately I am not going to be able to help out so much with the “putting the tent up” duties.  That ba$tard Lenny has left me with what they think is mild lymphedema which means I can’t do heavy lifting or reach up high for things.  It’s probably one of the side effects that I have struggled to cope with the most as it has changed a lot in my day to day life, more than most people know, but on the plus side I can still cuddle my little man and the condition is “manageable” if I behave myself and don’t over do it!

Of course the big C has changed my life, I do worry about it returning but I know I have done everything I can to give me he best possible chance of it not coming back.

I now have to learn to manage that worry and since diagnosis I have always been open with my worries.  I was chatting to my Rock and Rosie about this on New Year’s Eve and we all agreed that I will just have to learn what “triggers” my worries and how I will deal with them when they do happen.

One thing I am going to do to help manage this is to keep an anxiety diary as recommended by the book I am reading.

But you know, the big C has changed and will continue to change me for the better.

I’m stronger mentally than I have ever been and I really don’t take any shit from anyone so watch out! Lol…

I’ve said it before but my priorities have changed. When people used to say your health comes first I never really appreciated it’s true meaning.

Nothing is going to get in my way of putting my health first in life   I come first and as my little man told me

“Mummy, you have to love yourself before you love others”

Wise words from a 4 (now 5) year old!

The little things just don’t bother me anymore and I apologise if I don’t emphathise with the rest of you at times but the truth is when you are faced with something that lies between you and your life, the little stuff just doesn’t matter.

Life is so precious and so god damn short and I intend on making everyday count.

If you are not happy about something in your life then do something about it! Nuff said!

So what’s in store for 2018?

Well firstly with health in mind I am gonna get myself “fit” again. Not being able to run for months has bothered me but 3 days ago I went out for my first run with my step daughter around our village.

It nearly killed me, my legs felt like lead weights after 2 minutes but I did it! We walked/ jogged almost 5k. I am so unfit at the moment but it won’t be for long. My first goal is to increase the running and reduce the walking so I can get to a full 5k then 10k and then wait for this… I have signed up for the Great North Run. Yep I’m running it for Breast Cancer Care!!.

I have 9 months to get trained up and I will bloody do it!!!

I am also gonna go back to weight watchers, it works and it is a lifestyle change. I have missed my “fat club” friends so much and still strongly believe if I hadn’t lost the weight I would not have found the lump.

2018 will be the year I get to goal and I have already said to my mum that her and me are going to be on all the covers of the magazines!

Being as fit as I was really did help me to recover and deal with this shit.  I may have gone up a dress size but I have to remember I am still 2 dress sizes smaller than what I was.

Carrying the extra weight has been messing with my head, things have got tighter over chrristmas especially from not running but I will be back on it in no time!

I am also really looking forward to getting back to work properly, I love my job and the people I work with, I know though I need to take it slow!

The next 2018 goals are to spend quality time with the people who really matter to me. This journey does really allow you to learn who the people in life that you can truly rely on and I’ve also made some amazing new friends through this as well as friends I didn’t know so well who I’ve really developed strong bonds with.

So here’s to a very healthy and happy 2018 and remember:

  1. Make your health a priority
  2. Live more, worry less
  3. Look forwards not backwards

And finally

  1. Don’t take any shit!!! – or send them my way!!!

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