Omg how is it June already? – Spring has been and gone!!!!!
I know, I know it’s been weeks since I have posted but I’ve just been a busy bee!
That reminds me, I need to do my monthly boob check, must not forget, no excuse to not be checking those boobs!
It’s weird, being reconstructed boobs they still don’t “feel” like mine but I am having to get used to what is “normal” for me. It’s actually coming up to the 1 year milestone when I found Lenny, A few of my boob buddies have recently had their “first” year milestones. To be honest I am trying to not think about it and the mindfulness is helping.
We have actually just got back from the Lakes and Center Parcs on a magical family holiday. I loved every minute of it and I definitely made up for me not being able to go in the pool when we went last year!
I was the first in the pool, I literally ran there from the car park, I was sooooo excited and I went on every sodding slide they had!
I also discovered that I have a hidden talent…… drum roll please…… I can bowl (ten pin bowl) with my right hand better than my left!!!! (I am a leftie), I thought my bowling days were over due to the lympdema scare last year, so this time I decided to switch hands rather than do any more damage! I even got 2 spares and no i didn’t have the child sides down the lane!!!!
Two fingers up to you Lenny, you ain’t stopping me having a bloody good time!!!!
I only had one mini meltdown on holiday and that was caused by an old bloke calling me “Mate” in the supermarket.
“Mate?” I ain’t any “mate” of yours!!!
I was sooooo angry, He obviously took one glance at me from the back and decided I was a boy!!!
Just cos I have short hair does not make me a fricking boy!! – How bloody rude!!!
If I hadn’t got 2 kids with me I would have given him a piece of my mind.
Did he think I “chose” this Chemo curl look crossed with Roly the poodle from Eastenders??? For those of you that remember Dirty Den and Angie in the early days of Eastenders!!!
No I did not ask for this short chemo hair cut that looks like I have had a shampoo and set – all I need is a blue rinse to go with it!!!. There isn’t a day goes past when I do not grieve a little bit for my long hair but I just need to be patient and be thankful my hair has come back stronger than ever even if I do look like Roly!
It also didn’t help matters by wearing the same clothes as the Center Parcs activity staff, I did wonder why people kept coming up to me and asking for directions, as I certainly do not look like “Tour Guide Barbie”
The highlight of the holiday though was actually going for a massage and managing to not have a hot flush!!
In fact, I haven’t had one or a night sweat for over a month!!!
I cannot tell you what a difference it has made to my life and to my quality of sleep!
So it turns out my ovary function has recovered from the chemo and tamoxifen! I may even get a period soon, never thought I would see one of those again in my life!
I am keeping my fingers crossed things stay that way but I do feel like I am back in my 30s again and not a menopausal woman!
I still think hedgehog sessions have helped “sort” my body out and the essential oils I am using certainly help with the normal emotions of a cancer survivor!
I still do worry, worry is normal. I do worry about it returning, anyone who doesn’t isn’t being honest with themselves but my daily mindfulness helps enormously.
I also think a lot about the people who are currently fighting their own battle with the big C. I found out a few weeks ago about someone who is fighting her own battle right now.
Why does Cancer pick the good ones? An amazing lady who has helped me and my rock more than she could ever imagine. I think about her every single day, it really hit hard when I found out about her. In fact when I was in a recent psychology session, I opened up about how hard I had found it and I couldn’t help fight back the tears.
If she is reading this post, I want you to know what a difference you have made to my life / our lives in a short space of time and I am blessed you came into my life when you did.
My motto for June is “make everyday count”, we all have shit times in our life, life chucks it at us everyday but a lot is how we deal with the shit! Ok, I have said a lot of Shit’s there!!!!
But as I said 6 months ago, I love my life, I am powerful, I am beautiful(ish), I am free (but I am not a bloody boy, old man!!! – next time you get a left hook)