Well active treatment is over now so what happens next?
So many of you reading this blog are probably asking the same question? Does the blog end now you have finished treatment? Now it’s all over?
The answer is no bloody way, absolutely NOT!
In fact I know this blog is going to help play such a big part in me coping with the next part of my journey and I know it will help so many others through theirs, as well as helping family and friends of others going through this.
Active treatment aka Surgery, Radiotherapy (aka Rads) and Chemo are only part of this bloody roller coaster
I am told the toughest bit starts here……
Well Lenny if you can hear me from your jar, then you best get ready cos this Yorkshire lass is stronger and tougher than ever before!!!!
“Oh yes I am”
“Oh no you’re not”
“Oh yes I am”
Sorry had to get a bit of Christmas panto in there!!!
So why is this is this next bit tougher?
Well let’s start with what’s happened the last six months.
As I’ve said previously it’s been a whirlwind of treatments, appointments, life changing decisions and all this time I’ve had my medical team by my side, particularly my superhero the Prof. After you finish that your “comfort blanket” is taken away and your pretty much on your own with the exception of the odd review.
Shit bollo£ks what happens now? Panic can start to kick in!
The fact is the person who started this journey isn’t the person who stands here today and the outside world can feel like a scary place.
I know I am not alone with my worries and anxieties going into the next bit, even the strongest and most positive of us have apprehensions……
How will I cope with the side effects of the 10 year tamoxifen?
Will I turn into full on little miss mood swings?
Will I drive my “Rock” away?
Will I ever get over this fatigue?
When will my hair grow back?
How will I cope going back to work full time?
Will I ever be “great” at my job again?
Will I ever be able to run 10k again?
And last but not least
What IF the big C returns?
Pretty scary list right?
The truth is I know for a fact I am a much stronger person coming out of this. Over the past few months I’ve done everything I could to give me the best possible chance of coming through this journey in the best physical and mental state in preparation for this next phase.
Yep planning and preparing is what I do best!
It’s the main reason that I saw two important people this week, my gp and my clinical psychologist.
They won’t ever be my comfort blanket in the same way as the Prof but I know how much I am gonna need them over the weeks, months and potential years to come.
For me it’s all about being proactive with this, at the moment I feel on top of the world, ready to tackle anything but there are little voices that came inside my head at times, yep we call them “wobbles” and I want as many tools and tricks to help ensure those wobbles keep low on that bloody wobble-o-meter.
Right – time to finish writing those christmas cards!!!