Happy 1st Birthday Lenny

Can you believe last friday was a year ago exactly that I was given the “official” letter that I had an unwanted boob squatter, Lenny the boob cancer lump.

Bollock$ ..shi$, crap, I was not expecting that at 38!

Well Lenny, I guess it would have been your 1st birthday today, sorry Lenny but you are not here to blow out your candle!

It’s strange, I guess I didn’t know how I would feel. They say cancer-versaries are tough, but I’ve actually been emotionally in a good place.

I am not naive enough to think it won’t catch up with me, Cancer dvds have got a funny bloody way of creeping up on you when you least expect it!

One thing that I have really noticed the last few weeks, I don’t go to bed anymore thinking of the big C or waking up with the cancer dvd playing – that’s got to be a good thing right?

It’s not been easy either the last couple of weeks, I’ve had a couple of curb balls chucked at me.

First I had a suspected stress fracture on my leg – thankfully turned out to be soft tissue issue but for a few hours I thought my Great North Run dreams were over!   I did have tears in my eyes which turned to bloody tears of joy when the x-ray came back clear!!!

Secondly, my company has just been acquired.  Maybe pre cancer I might have worried that bit more but when you have had this horrible basta$d disease try and threaten your life and your happiness – the other stuff just doesn’t seem to matter the same.

What will be, will be….. health is more important than any job!

On a more happier note though, it’s been an amazing couple of weeks with my little one.  Lenny has not got in the way of him having a great year at school.  100% attendance ( got to thank the oils for that),  exceeding in Reading and Maths and great at solving problems – what  more can you ask for!

He came home with “big boy” books last week, he was so proud! No more Biff and bloody Kipper!!! – woohoo!!!!!

But guess what, his book was about Lenny!!! ffs!!! but he did say to me “Mummy, it’s ok, It’s not about Lenny the lump” – phew!!

I have certainly made up for not being able to attend all the winter school events due to chemo, I was the proudest Mummy in the world watching him in his school play  as a beetle and see him finish 2nd in his sport’s day races!

I did avoid the Mum’s race though, there is no bloody way I am risking getting another injury, nothing is stopping me finish the Great North Run!!!

Instead I am gonna raise  glass or too and toast to good health and happiness and making every day count!

 

xxx1today

 

 

 

 

Goodbye Chemo Curls!

So I made the decision last week that enough was enough and the chemo curls had to go.

If I’m honest they were getting me down, really down, which to others may sound pathetic but when you look in the mirror every morning and there is a bloody 80 year old staring back at you, it’s not the best for your self esteem!

It hasn’t helped matters that next week I am having a WeightWatchers photo shoot to be in their breast cancer awareness issue.  I should be on cloud nine at the fact they want to publish my story but all I could think about was this hair!

What sort of role model am I going to be looking like a granny! They’d probably take one look at me and ask if I was accompanying my granddaughter to her shoot!

I’d got so emotional about it all that I was holding back the tears when I got to the hairdressers.

“It’s making me depressed” I said to my lovely hairdresser. Not a phrase I use lightly so you can get how low I was starting to feel!!!!

She tried to convince me to keep them but I was having none of it. They had to go, every single one of them, if I left the salon with even one curl in my hair, it was one too many.

The granny was going!

curls

I had never been so excited about the ghd’s coming out since I bought my first pair 10 years ago! I was like a kid in a fricking sweet shop!

By the end of it, I’d got more product in my hair than the cast of “Hairspray” but I didn’t not give a monkeys!!

Gemsy was back! I could literally feel the confidence coming back in my face as I looked in the mirror!

Even my Rock said it looked good and that was without prompting so it must look bloody good!!!!

And when your mum says “yes Gem, it did look like a granny perm and looks so much better now”…….you know you have made the right decision!

Next stop, getting rid of these unwanted grey “sparkles”, they can pi$$ off as well!!

Don’t call me “Mate”!!